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Saturday, 17 May 2014

Totally nagging of my recent situation

Oh gosh and finally I realized that I had abandoned this blog like for five months! I hardly see any hardworking cosplayer blogging nowadays, and I seems starting to slack off as well, which is definitely a bad things. It wasn't really my fancy to write things, I used to write blog only when I am emotionally down and feel that I need some place to release the tension. When I am starting to grow up, assuming that my hormones imbalance issue during puberty is going away, there isn't too much of concerns in my life (other than that interview which I was like regretful for 2 weeks time). I opened up a blog for my cosplay progression as following what my favourite cosplayer of all time kolirin is doing. Recently, however, I haven't seen her blogging anymore and seems to stop cosplaying .. QAQ very sad news indeed. Still, I will try to manage, get some time to continue blogging, as a way to ensure I practise more on my language and maybe one day able to completed what has been left behind. ^^

Here's some update of my recent activities. I finally graduated from USM, convo is on 26th of April. Starting to find job like 6 months ago and finally got a few interviews in past two months. Rejected my favourite work due to the pay not up to my expectation (which I was cursing myself for more than 2 weeks after that), turn down an interview half way through because I don't like the nature of the job, got in second interview of another lab-based job but didn't make it because I did not performed well ( sincerely I don't like bossy people and the interviewer is VERY VERY bossy), lastly accepted a sales job which I have only slight idea of the product. I wasn't sure whether my decision is wrong, but it is definitely not the right one. I am not good at talking, and in my opinion, a successful sales person is required to come up with conversation and ensured that the customers is totally convince of the benefit of the product. One of my most difficult weakness, the lack of PR skills. It wasn't how I imagine starting to work would be like as I had been rotting for like 6 months at home without proper income (kindergarten teacher don't count) and I was not even the slightliest looking forward for my first job. I had been pondered since the very bossy interviewer asking about the passion question (though I find his answer to be god damn hypocritic, sincerely "I would like to contribute my knowledge to the society" is never the right answer of "Why do you want to pursue this career?" or "What is your passion in your job?" or blah blah blah question that relates to whatever that is compatible with THAT answer). I could understand the point of him asking these kind of which I described as "weird question", as its important to know the path of the future as not to be regretful (which is another thing that I do not agree with his way of asking the question when the job scope required a patience person to sit in the lab for the whole day and not going to quit soon enough and hence the passion future is not a reliable question for that job because a very passionate and ambitious person would not take up that kind of salary and be bonded for a few years doing the same thing!!!!)  And than I started to think about my first plan of further study and realize the only reason is just for the good of the title that brings to me and my family, rather than the passionate towards the research. I am hesitating since as I am not sure if I should further study anymore. There are too much of people studying for the beauty of the title and this is not how I imagine it to be when I was a child. Now its a different path of either doing it with a passion or following the flow of the society. I sincerely do not wished to settle, but sometimes its not my decision to make. 

.... Oh gosh and this might be the reason of resuming blogging after 5 months of freezing blog... too much nagging =3=

I'll try to manage somehow with the current situation and maybe settle temporary for a year time and move on with my plan after I finally get to be passionate about something such as cloning myself or invent pikachu or found a way to visualize what seems to be impossible at the moment. I am selfish, I supposed and a real scientist is always selfish ( in my opinion ). Fighto! and hope things will go smoothly until I get my first pay to support a seaming machine !!!!

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