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Thursday, 19 December 2013

Remembrance of Zizi

I've regretted that five minutes away without shutting the door. It could have been prevented if it wasn't that careless act, a single act of shutting the door tight could have still made her alive. It wasn't till now I realized how terrifying is to losing her. I've always tried to imagine the worst, to protect her away from any evil-doing, from any chances of getting into danger, any risk that I might lose her. In the end, I couldn't protect her. It was just a short moment, and she was gone. I knew that there was the risk, still I can't do the act of shutting the door. I can still feel her fear when she struggled for her last breath in my arms, it was as if she was begging for my help but I was too weak, too little compared to the death that was overwhelming. For once I hated myself not to teach her to fear of the strong, instead leaving her to keep fighting against the strong. I hope the I could have teach her to be coward, to flee against all danger and be timid to seek for my protection. She is always the stubborn one, likes too much to act strong. Bad-tempered but cute at the same time, the typical tsundere type. She likes to wander around my legs, licking my feet and ask for patting. People said rabbit don't make sound, but Zizi does. When she was quite small, she went across to the neighbour's garden, which I was nervous and caught her on her leg too harshly, she squeaked, like the sound of crying baby. Only once I had heard that sound, later on, she started making the sound like pig snort, similar but not the same, whenever she is not happy. Sometimes when she refused to go back to cage or come out of the cage, or when patting her backside, she used to make that sound. I hope that I could have record it down... She gets furious easily, and was ill-tempered to all other creatures. Sometimes I think that she is not aware that she is a rabbit but is on the same level as me. 

For five years, she was with me. I bought her on November 2008 from a friend, at that time she was only 1-month old, just a handful size. Always healthy since then until last september, when she had blood urine issue, I went to the vet for some injection. I only knew that rabbits usually have a average 8 -years of life span. I was shocked as 8 years was too short, and I have like only 3 years left for Zizi. It was a tragic now that she can't even live up to that 8 years.... and I hope that I could have given her the best life that I could, to let her grow old and die in peace.. and not fears and regrets... I could have be a better Master, fulfill her short life with a better world better life better way of living. Nothing could have been done now and I hope that she could still be here with me. If I could just see, I wish I can still hold her in my arms and pat her again and hug her to sleep. I hope once that life isnt how it was, life is too fragile, a glimpse of eyes and she's gone. I wish i could have the ability to save her, not to watch her die slowly in hopeless. I wish that she can still be with me. 

I wish that I could have been better in English, to write her a poem, a better speech, used better words. I love you, Zizi, and will always do. God bless you in heaven and hope we could have meet again, someday somewhere in any form. I'll always miss you. 

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

【COS】The Two Sides - Agito x Akito Manga Cover Vol.16

Wanajima Akito @ Fuyu
Wanajima Agito @ Maro Ch

photo thx Lee Mazaki
special thx Zizi

I was done with this set quite early last month, but wasn't in the mood to blog that time. Alot of stuff going on and kinda lack of the motivation to write anything. Well I supposed this is how people eventually left out blogging and go with facebook status, or just tweeted them. I even left my Taiwan tour blog half way and well not feeling like finishing it up. Well, I still think that insisting that blogging will help, myself, probably to start writing something instead of laying around not braining at all XDD. I am actually in a midst of the important event of the 3 years I spent studying and still not yet motivated enough to heat up on my presentation which is like next week? Getting motivation is too hard. Most probably caused by the past week GRE test which spent like only one week time to study from 0 to the test day and I supposed not preparing well enough and it didn't scored well enough ahahahhaha. Still, pray hard for the coming results. /finger crossed. 

Finish with the mumbling, back to the pics. Air Gear had been one of my favourite during my secondary school days ( phew, long long time ago!!), and Agito definitely my top choice of character. Just that , back then I never thought of cosing him actually. I was more to Simca, but still havent yet got the chance to do her either. Glad that Fuyu accepted my request to do this version together. Its very rare to find Air Gear fans in Penang back then, and Fuyu is one of the least. Still, this took us like more then a year to settle the shooting. I was busy, she was busy, well in the end we had to rushed because I was coming back to my hometown. That costume really break my head. I initially thought that making a torn shirt shouldnt be that difficult because I'll just have to do a few cuts on the cloth and it will be done which is VERY WRONG!!!! It was difficult. Not every kind of cloth can be torn easily and torn prettily! In the end I  have to tear some part piece by piece to make sure it looks artistic enough to be wear on, else it might look like some thrown away  floor mat. I was supposed to make the bunny too, but in the end I just couldnt make it out. Its so damn difficult to make dolls!! Seriously, I tried two patterns and both failed eventually I gave up on it. I am kinda sorry for that since.. I promised to make it initially. In the end, the cloth is still with me and I don't really know what to do with it. Well, will think of something ;)

Well, that's all for now and pray hard for my exams~ Hope can pass with flying colors~~~